Anxiety can be a touchy subject for a lot of people. There is a stigma around it as if it’s a bad thing to be anxious or nervous about something. Everyone deals with it and it manifests in many different ways that can be very debilitating. Dealing with some anxiety myself, I see a mental health counselor on a weekly basis, and below is a list of ways I lower/deal with my anxiety.
Starting off the day right
One of the best ways of dealing with anxiety is to get ahead of it before it shows up. Anxiety tends to compound for me. If I’m stuck dealing with an episode of anxiety during a high-pressure situation, it means I’m going to have even more anxiety trying to deal with it which in turn, makes it harder to deal with. It’s a great thing my mind does to itself 😅. I use three main things to help reduce anxiety before it manifests: Daily Meditation, Words of Affirmation, and Radical Acceptance.
Daily Meditation
Being ahead of anxiety means it’s going to take less time to deal with it during an episode of anxiety. One way I get ahead of it is through Daily Meditation. I take around 20 minutes every morning to sit, listen to calming instrumental music, control my breathing, and empty my mind. If any thoughts come into my mind, I acknowledge them and then dismiss them. You can write them down if you feel they are important. It calms me down and allows me to focus on the important things to start off my day.
According to the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, meditation has been linked to:
- A decrease in heart rate
- A decrease in blood pressure
- A decrease in oxygen consumption
- A decrease in metabolic rate
- A decrease in the concentration of lactic acid in the blood (associated with anxiety reduction)
- An increase in forearm blood flow and hand temperature
- An increase in electrical resistance of the skin (associated with deep relaxation)
- An increase in alpha brain wave activity (also associated with relaxation)
Words of Affirmation
The other way to get ahead of anxiety is through Words of Affirmation or just non-negative self-talk. Words have power, especially when said out loud. Every morning, when I sit down at my computer to work, I say nice things about myself. It definitely felt weird at first, but after a while, I start to believe those things.
An example of non-negative self-talk I use every morning:
I’m going to have a good day today.
If I encounter a problem, I can solve it.
If I can’t solve the particular problem, I’ll just ask for help.
One way or another, I’m going to have a good day!
It honestly helps me to have a good day and when I can encounter a roadblock, I can deal with the roadblock, one way or another.
Radical Acceptance
The last way I prepare for anxiety ahead of time is through Radical Acceptance.
“Radical acceptance means accepting things for the way they are in the present.” - uwmedicine.org
It doesn’t mean that if you are in a bad situation just accept it and not do anything about it. It means understanding that bad things happen to everyone, accepting that bad things happen, and having the ability to continue moving forward with your life. A saying I like to stick to is “Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.”
If you’re doing meditation and words of affirmation already, then you should be prepared to come at these situations with a clear and logical mind. Think about what, truly, the worst situation is and how you would deal with it.
Anxiety in the moment
Now, getting ahead of anxiety drastically helps but doesn’t eliminate it. There are a few tools that I use to help deal with anxiety in the moment when I don’t have time to spend 20 minutes of meditation or work my way through radical acceptance. I use Backward Counting, Progressive Muscle Relaxation and Deep Breaths, and Setting Boundaries.
Backward Counting
To be more specific, counting backward by sevens. You might be thinking, “How would counting backward help with my anxiety?” Anxiety is an emotional response centered in the limbic system of your mind. Counting backward gets you out of the limbic system and puts you into your prefrontal cortex which “intelligently regulates our thoughts, actions and emotions” - ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. It helps you to think logically instead of emotionally.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation and Deep Breaths
These two go hand in hand. Both are good techniques for relaxing your body when dealing with anxiety. I feel anxiety in my shoulders more than anywhere else. Deep breaths help to relax the tension that I feel in my shoulders. Try it yourself. Take a very big deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, and slowly release it. I literally feel the tension leaving my shoulders
I use progressive muscle relaxation when I’m dealing with anxiety when trying to sleep. Progressive muscle relaxation is tensing up different parts of my body and then relaxing them, starting from my toes and then working my way up to my forehead or the other direction. When I lay down at night, I tend to go over my day and I can focus on negative things and then get in a loop of self-pity. This technique helps me to focus on relaxing my body instead of whatever happened throughout the day. I recommend following along with a YouTube video that will walk you through it.
Setting Boundaries
It’s very easy for me to be drawn to negative things, especially when browsing social media. There is a lot happening in the world and there always will be. Pinpointing things that induce my anxiety, helps me to prevent it. I don’t use Facebook, except for Messenger, and I only use Twitter for work. You’ll see that I don’t follow thousands of Twitter accounts, and those that I do follow, are mostly developers, writers, and streamers. Most of these accounts post either informative or fairly positive content. I also have a list of words blocked so I can avoid content that I don’t want to see.
Now there are times when things fall through the cracks or major events that happen I should spend some attention to that aren’t necessarily positive things. It’s important to know the major things that are happening around me and not completely live inside a bubble. Setting time limits or setting time aside in my day are the main things that help me to regulate viewing this type of content. It’s all about setting boundaries for myself so that I have the best chance to succeed.
Conclusion
Anxiety happens to everyone, it’s impossible to avoid it, and it’s a completely normal response to extreme situations. YOU are an amazing person and your feelings are valid. It’s important to tell yourself that. Bad things happen. It’s important to keep your head up and keep on moving. Lean on your support systems. This too shall pass. Have a wonderful day.